On Thursday, 20 February 2020, the video of Oprah Winfrey and Tracee Ellis Ross’ one-on-one interview was shared, and one moment that had an impact on me was the affirmation of “May I.”
The one-on-one interview between Oprah Winfrey and Tracee Ellis Ross for Oprah’s 2020 Vision Tour was posted on YouTube on Thursday, 20 February 2020. The interview had many tear-jerking – and as Oprah would say, “uh-huh” moments – but one key moment was Tracee’s life lesson about using “May I,” rather than, “I am.”
Tracee elaborated on the statement, saying, “Where I am and where I want to be, the space in between is actually the scary space.” As commonly noted in numerous self-affirming dialogues to overcome fear and work towards one’s goals, a person is often encouraged to affirm themselves by saying, “I am.” The problem I have always had with the affirmation of “I am” is how forceful it comes across, and how it feels like the notion of “faking it ’til you make it.” I do not like the idea of forcing something, so Tracee introducing the concept of using “May I” felt like the growing trend of prioritising consent, even with yourself.
Asking for permission, rather than forcing yourself into action, allows for accountability for any decision one makes, whether it is to push against the fear, or to take more time sitting in the fear of something until you are ready to tackle it. “May I” does not shame one into action, but as Tracee said, “gently invites” one into working towards progress.
Sabelo Makhubo
